Does Fear of Being Pushy Stop You?
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Welcome to Mindset for Visibility!
I just had a birthday so I lit up the birthday unicorn. I'm going to make a wish for all of us. My wish is that we all be happily more visible in our business this year.
I have been talking to you about the fear triangle and these are the top three fears that I've heard women talk about when they don’t want to be visible in their business.
They don't want to be judged
They don't want to be pushy
They don't want to be rejected
Today I want to talk about being pushy.
I hear it all too often from women who have their own small business, professional practice, or service business say, “I just don't want to send any more emails. I think I'm sending too many emails”.
Usually they've sent just one to talk about an event they're going to have.
One email is not too many!
With our fractured attention span, and so many people being overloaded with COVID, the economy, the weather, children not being in school, and children going to school, one email is not gonna push somebody over the edge. It's not being pushy.
In fact, unless you spend more time letting people know what you do they're not going to be able to take advantage of the services that you offer that could actually help them.
When you don't want to be pushy, you actually think that people are paying more attention to you than they really are.
If you have a CRM, which stands for “customer retention management” system, you can ask people if they want to opt out of a series of emails.
You may not have a CRM yet, and you may be sending those from your personal email.
But as you get bigger, then you need a CRM which is an email broadcast system. Then you can say, “Hey, I'm gonna be talking about this for the next few days, you don't want to hear about it, opt out. No problem!”
I think when women entrepreneurs say they don’t want to be pushy, they're saying, “I'm not claiming my expertise.”
So in a sales conversation I've had prospective clients say to me, “I just don't want to be pushy. I don't want people to think that I'm being too salesy.”
In reality they are not claiming their own expertise. They are letting the client or the prospect run the show and conversation. They are not showing up as the expert that the prospect is looking for to guide them.
I've been very guilty of this. I have had many conversations when we’re just visiting, like we like to do in the South.
The conversations weren't targeted at the prospects problem and how I could help them. We didn’t get to the answers of “Are you an ideal client for me? Am I an ideal coach for you?”
I wasn't being pushy, I was claiming my authority. I was finding the best fit for the prospect and for me.
It’s easy to avoid being visible because you think you’re going to be too pushy.
When you stop yourself by thinking you're going to be too pushy you stop serving other people.
They don't know that you exist, they don't know that you have a program or service that can really help them.
You limit their abundance and you limit your abundance, because you deserve to be paid and compensated for your work.
So, what's the antidote to this? Well the antidote is to change your thoughts.
Do a 180 degree turn.
Ask yourself,
“What if I did claim my expertise?
“What if I did realize that I know what I'm talking about and I can help the right people?”
Would it be a service to you to be of service to others?
What insights might come to you?
If you thought, “I'm not being pushy, I'm being of service. I'm sharing my expertise, and I'm letting people know how I can help them. They can decide what’s right for themselves.”
Hiding your light under a bushel basket is not the plan. It never was.
If you are a light, you should shine.
So I'm encouraging you to change your thoughts about being pushy. You can be gracious, you can be warm, you can be welcoming, and not be pushy. Because you're not going to push anybody into anything.
I know that people that I work with are service-oriented. They care about their clients and they care about what they do. They're not going to be pushy.
And if you are pushy, people are going to let you know it pretty quickly.
I had the experience of being pushy several years ago. I did a sales training with two people who had worked for Tony Robbins. They used to bring the crowds into the arenas where he would present his programs.
They taught me a very pushy sales style. I tried it out on a group here locally, and they were shocked.
They didn't think that was going to come for me. I was shocked by their response, and I really got it immediately that I wasn't being of service that I was being pushy instead.
It really put me off my game for a while because I thought that was the only way to present and sell.
It's not the only way!
You can be yourself and share the service that you provide in a way that's true to you.
I got some help with how to present and sell in a way that feels good to me and honors my values and the women I talk to.
I now know that I can offer what I can do for other people
without being pushy
without shaming them into anything and
by truly being myself.
If the fear of being pushy is something that you are struggling with, I invite you to book a session with me for a free consultation at my website, www.adelemichal.com.
Over on the right, you can just book a free consultation by clicking there. You can schedule your free half hour with no obligation. I'd love to talk to you and I will ask you a few questions just so I'll be ready to help you in the best way possible.
I appreciate your listening. I'll be back next time and until then, consider getting more visible.